"The first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Faith means trust—trust in God's will, trust in His way of doing things, and trust in His timetable."
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I Miss My Chitlins...
I really miss my kiddos, kids, chitlins, children, offspring, wee ones, spawns, heirs, etc.
Every morning Ed gets Jaren ready for Grandma and Grandpa Palmer's house and they watch him while Ed is at work. Oliver and Eden are at school all day and get off of the bus around four o'clock. I get to spend about an hour or two with them every weekday afternoon (unless they go upstairs to play). Ed comes home from work, picks them up and takes them to his parent's house to spend the night there. It's easier for his mom and dad to get them ready and fed at their house every morning. Ed drops them off and picks up Jaren to spend time with us in the evening and sleep in his own crib during the night.
I am exceedingly grateful that we have family (and friends) here that are willing to help us during this time with my recent health issues. I really do miss the kids though and I know they miss me too. I pray that I can heal quickly... that my neck will heal and that my bones will get the calcium they have been yearning for... for so long now. My legs ache... mainly my knees. It really hurts to walk and even change position in my chair. The worst thing is getting into a car... WOW... now THAT is a killer! I don't have to worry much though since I can't drive yet and I pretty much stay in the house all day long. It's getting kind of boring! I should be grateful for this time that I have to just be with myself. Maybe I could read or get some crocheting done. Sometimes all I want to do is sleep, since that's the only time I can get away from the pain. I'm not able to care for Jaren myself at this time because I can't lift over 10 pounds. He's CONSTANTLY motioning for me to pick him up in the evening when Ed is here and I have to tell him that I can't pick him up yet. It will cause too much of a strain on my neck.
It's weird to think about the doctors being in my neck fiddling around in there and then to be sewn up. I took the tape off of my neck and now I can feel the thread they used when they stitched me up. It feels like fishing line! It's driving me nuts everytime I feel it sticking out. I wish I could have kept the tape on it longer. Dr. Lal, my awesome surgeon, said that my wound would stick out a bit, but that it would shrink the more days it had to heal. She said to gently massage that area, but it still hurts quite a bit! I feel better every day, but it still is not up for being massaged I must say! Now... my shoulders on the other hand... could use a long massage!
I know that Eden especially wishes to come back home to stay. Today I overheard her tell Ed that Grandma's beds aren't as soft as hers is! She's been very teary eyed lately. I had to tell her that she had to go back for a while until I healed. I thought that I could manage this week, but I just couldn't. I did well on Monday... getting them ready, fed and off to school, but Tuesday was different. I couldn't even get out of bed because my legs hurt so bad! They got themselves dressed and ready for school. I just pray that I can heal and recover QUICKLY!!! I know that it will all happen in the Lord's time. I just need to be patient. Easier said than done.
Every morning Ed gets Jaren ready for Grandma and Grandpa Palmer's house and they watch him while Ed is at work. Oliver and Eden are at school all day and get off of the bus around four o'clock. I get to spend about an hour or two with them every weekday afternoon (unless they go upstairs to play). Ed comes home from work, picks them up and takes them to his parent's house to spend the night there. It's easier for his mom and dad to get them ready and fed at their house every morning. Ed drops them off and picks up Jaren to spend time with us in the evening and sleep in his own crib during the night.
I am exceedingly grateful that we have family (and friends) here that are willing to help us during this time with my recent health issues. I really do miss the kids though and I know they miss me too. I pray that I can heal quickly... that my neck will heal and that my bones will get the calcium they have been yearning for... for so long now. My legs ache... mainly my knees. It really hurts to walk and even change position in my chair. The worst thing is getting into a car... WOW... now THAT is a killer! I don't have to worry much though since I can't drive yet and I pretty much stay in the house all day long. It's getting kind of boring! I should be grateful for this time that I have to just be with myself. Maybe I could read or get some crocheting done. Sometimes all I want to do is sleep, since that's the only time I can get away from the pain. I'm not able to care for Jaren myself at this time because I can't lift over 10 pounds. He's CONSTANTLY motioning for me to pick him up in the evening when Ed is here and I have to tell him that I can't pick him up yet. It will cause too much of a strain on my neck.
It's weird to think about the doctors being in my neck fiddling around in there and then to be sewn up. I took the tape off of my neck and now I can feel the thread they used when they stitched me up. It feels like fishing line! It's driving me nuts everytime I feel it sticking out. I wish I could have kept the tape on it longer. Dr. Lal, my awesome surgeon, said that my wound would stick out a bit, but that it would shrink the more days it had to heal. She said to gently massage that area, but it still hurts quite a bit! I feel better every day, but it still is not up for being massaged I must say! Now... my shoulders on the other hand... could use a long massage!
I know that Eden especially wishes to come back home to stay. Today I overheard her tell Ed that Grandma's beds aren't as soft as hers is! She's been very teary eyed lately. I had to tell her that she had to go back for a while until I healed. I thought that I could manage this week, but I just couldn't. I did well on Monday... getting them ready, fed and off to school, but Tuesday was different. I couldn't even get out of bed because my legs hurt so bad! They got themselves dressed and ready for school. I just pray that I can heal and recover QUICKLY!!! I know that it will all happen in the Lord's time. I just need to be patient. Easier said than done.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wow... Did You See a Herd of Elephants Running From My Direction???
Yes... my throat feels like a herd of elephants just trampled over it! Yowzers! The pain medicine really doesn't do a whole lot I must say. I've spoken with a few friends of mine today and relived some of my pain and fear... I'm exhausted from the retelling and the crying. I really am starting to realize now... what a life and death ordeal this has been for me. The hormones that have been going crazy in my body could have caused me to go into cardiac arrest. Just learning back in November that I have high cholesterol didn't really help the matter much! I really... REALLY... need to start taking care of myself more. And... the FIRST thing I'm going to do is to get a NEW DOCTOR!!!
I have been really good at seeing the doctor for my yearly full physical exams and going to the doctor for any ailments I'd been having. Now... I'm going to require better care for myself and I don't care if people think I'm bitchy or demanding. No one but myself is going to make it happen! I have a whole new view now! And... I'm not going to worry about all of the health bills. I'm going to adopt the motto that Ed always says, "Oh well. It's just money." Seriously... it's JUST money. I'd rather have my health and get checked thoroughly and spend more money than to be scared if my insurance won't cover something. It's just money. I have a family that is depending on me... on my health... so that I can care for them!
Something interesting I've noticed since I've been home is how much of a Ghost Town the house feels like. There are no kids here running around laughing, screaming or fighting. No toddlers squealing or crying. No noise whatsoever. Just a mess that was left from Christmas. Decorations still hung, the small tree still up and things just tossed here and there. Unopened junk mail piled up on the couch along with clean clothes waiting to be folded and put away. Everything was just left as it was or as it came. Ed had been in and out... from work... from the hospital here and in Iowa City. The kids have remained in the care of Ed's parents (THANK YOU!) and have had a consistant routine for this past month of being absent from myself. I don't know what I would do without their help in this as well as other times in my life. I also don't know what I would do without my mom being with me when all others were called elsewhere. She was with me in the hospital during the roughest times of this whole ordeal... during the painful IV that ripped through my veins and rendered me in the worst imaginable pain as well as my complete and utter breakdown that transpired in my hospitalroom on Saturday evening. It felt like the weight of the world was finally giving way and falling on me. It felt like all hope was lost.
"What else were they going to come in and tell me was wrong?"
"How many more times will someone come in and jab me with the needle and miss... causing painful bruising and sore limbs?"
"When will I feel any relief?"
"When will this be over?"
"Will I truly feel like a new person after this?"
"Why is Satan such a freakin' bastard? Why won't he just leave me the hell alone?"
All the while... worrying about what others will think of me. She's crazy... She's weak... She's unstable.
I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO A BREAKDOWN!!! Too bad it had to happen when I was sharing my hospital room and only divided by a curtain.
Life was passing me by. Other people were busy planning their lives and I wasn't a part of it anymore. I'll be missing some important days of my friends lives... important days of my children's lives... of my life. I just don't even know what to say or how to say it. Good freakin' night... my NECK HURTS!!! I just want to cry... I just want to sleep. That is the ONLY way I get away from the pain... the ONLY way I get away from myself, my depression, the things that Satan wants me to believe. "Kick her while she's down." I think that is his motto. Good thing the Lord is stronger. The Spirit's voice is much stronger and hope is renewed when all things are laying around me... crumbled. All that happens is in the Lord's time. The ONLY thing we can give the Lord is our will. Whatever happens will happen and I know that I will be okay, because I am the Lord's and He will do what is necessary and best for me. I knew this ALL THE WHILE, but of course Satan is right there when any doubt is felt and his misery is waiting to slowly take hold. Thank goodness for the words of the apostles and prophets. I had with me the General Conference issue of the Ensign (our church magazine) and I read and read so many inspired talks that were given for my benefit. For OUR benefit of course, but for MY benefit as I was really wanting some strength, knowledge and comfort at that time. So many talks touched me as I sat up reading into the wee hours of the morning. I really couldn't put it down. I know that my testimony of the Gospel was strengthened. My love of my Father in Heaven and of His Son, Jesus Christ have grown and I've more of an appreciation for the atonement... for all that Christ has done for us that we may live with him again, in a much grander existance than this crappy (at times) earth life. I know we are meant to have joy and by that we MUST experience the craptasticness as well or how would we recognize it!? I love the Lord. I love learning what He has in store for us and that I can take time out... sometimes He takes the time out for me... but to have some time to be able to reflect on who I want to be, how I want to be remembered and where I want to end up. I have been blessed beyond measure. I have been given a most wonderful companion... too good I often think that I deserve, but yet again I have been given him. For that I am wonderfully and eternally blessed. I love my husband more than words. He is my best and truest friend that I have in the flesh. He makes me want to be better. I know so many say that, but it is so true. He loves the Lord and he knows so much about the Gospel and what is in store for us. I want to become a good mother. I want to attend the temple more. I will never forget a Visiting Teaching message in the Ensign a few years ago that said that the Temple can change our natures. We do behave in a manner that is the result of the natural man, which is an enemy to God. We need to refine those manners and truly learn what we need to do in order to change that which is natural. I pray that I can go there often and make time for it... make time to be taught the things that are of infinite worth. It's strange when you think about the possibility of dying. The people you'd leave behind... The impression of yourself that you'd leave behind. I wonder what people would think of me. Would they know of the love that I had for my friends and family? Would they know of the love that I had for my Heavenly Father? Would they know how hard I tried each time that Satan would have me bound with depression and a mental illness... would they know how hard I tried to change? How hard I tried to rise above that weakness that was given me to overcome in this life? Would people know who and what I desired to be in this life and in the next? It's truly life changing. I am very blessed and I want others to realize how much they are blessed as well. I want to live my life more fully and richly. I want others to know how much that I love, admire and grow from their examples. I want to live with no regrets. ***BREATHE*** ***SIGH*** That's all I want.
I have been really good at seeing the doctor for my yearly full physical exams and going to the doctor for any ailments I'd been having. Now... I'm going to require better care for myself and I don't care if people think I'm bitchy or demanding. No one but myself is going to make it happen! I have a whole new view now! And... I'm not going to worry about all of the health bills. I'm going to adopt the motto that Ed always says, "Oh well. It's just money." Seriously... it's JUST money. I'd rather have my health and get checked thoroughly and spend more money than to be scared if my insurance won't cover something. It's just money. I have a family that is depending on me... on my health... so that I can care for them!
Something interesting I've noticed since I've been home is how much of a Ghost Town the house feels like. There are no kids here running around laughing, screaming or fighting. No toddlers squealing or crying. No noise whatsoever. Just a mess that was left from Christmas. Decorations still hung, the small tree still up and things just tossed here and there. Unopened junk mail piled up on the couch along with clean clothes waiting to be folded and put away. Everything was just left as it was or as it came. Ed had been in and out... from work... from the hospital here and in Iowa City. The kids have remained in the care of Ed's parents (THANK YOU!) and have had a consistant routine for this past month of being absent from myself. I don't know what I would do without their help in this as well as other times in my life. I also don't know what I would do without my mom being with me when all others were called elsewhere. She was with me in the hospital during the roughest times of this whole ordeal... during the painful IV that ripped through my veins and rendered me in the worst imaginable pain as well as my complete and utter breakdown that transpired in my hospitalroom on Saturday evening. It felt like the weight of the world was finally giving way and falling on me. It felt like all hope was lost.
"What else were they going to come in and tell me was wrong?"
"How many more times will someone come in and jab me with the needle and miss... causing painful bruising and sore limbs?"
"When will I feel any relief?"
"When will this be over?"
"Will I truly feel like a new person after this?"
"Why is Satan such a freakin' bastard? Why won't he just leave me the hell alone?"
All the while... worrying about what others will think of me. She's crazy... She's weak... She's unstable.
I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO A BREAKDOWN!!! Too bad it had to happen when I was sharing my hospital room and only divided by a curtain.
Life was passing me by. Other people were busy planning their lives and I wasn't a part of it anymore. I'll be missing some important days of my friends lives... important days of my children's lives... of my life. I just don't even know what to say or how to say it. Good freakin' night... my NECK HURTS!!! I just want to cry... I just want to sleep. That is the ONLY way I get away from the pain... the ONLY way I get away from myself, my depression, the things that Satan wants me to believe. "Kick her while she's down." I think that is his motto. Good thing the Lord is stronger. The Spirit's voice is much stronger and hope is renewed when all things are laying around me... crumbled. All that happens is in the Lord's time. The ONLY thing we can give the Lord is our will. Whatever happens will happen and I know that I will be okay, because I am the Lord's and He will do what is necessary and best for me. I knew this ALL THE WHILE, but of course Satan is right there when any doubt is felt and his misery is waiting to slowly take hold. Thank goodness for the words of the apostles and prophets. I had with me the General Conference issue of the Ensign (our church magazine) and I read and read so many inspired talks that were given for my benefit. For OUR benefit of course, but for MY benefit as I was really wanting some strength, knowledge and comfort at that time. So many talks touched me as I sat up reading into the wee hours of the morning. I really couldn't put it down. I know that my testimony of the Gospel was strengthened. My love of my Father in Heaven and of His Son, Jesus Christ have grown and I've more of an appreciation for the atonement... for all that Christ has done for us that we may live with him again, in a much grander existance than this crappy (at times) earth life. I know we are meant to have joy and by that we MUST experience the craptasticness as well or how would we recognize it!? I love the Lord. I love learning what He has in store for us and that I can take time out... sometimes He takes the time out for me... but to have some time to be able to reflect on who I want to be, how I want to be remembered and where I want to end up. I have been blessed beyond measure. I have been given a most wonderful companion... too good I often think that I deserve, but yet again I have been given him. For that I am wonderfully and eternally blessed. I love my husband more than words. He is my best and truest friend that I have in the flesh. He makes me want to be better. I know so many say that, but it is so true. He loves the Lord and he knows so much about the Gospel and what is in store for us. I want to become a good mother. I want to attend the temple more. I will never forget a Visiting Teaching message in the Ensign a few years ago that said that the Temple can change our natures. We do behave in a manner that is the result of the natural man, which is an enemy to God. We need to refine those manners and truly learn what we need to do in order to change that which is natural. I pray that I can go there often and make time for it... make time to be taught the things that are of infinite worth. It's strange when you think about the possibility of dying. The people you'd leave behind... The impression of yourself that you'd leave behind. I wonder what people would think of me. Would they know of the love that I had for my friends and family? Would they know of the love that I had for my Heavenly Father? Would they know how hard I tried each time that Satan would have me bound with depression and a mental illness... would they know how hard I tried to change? How hard I tried to rise above that weakness that was given me to overcome in this life? Would people know who and what I desired to be in this life and in the next? It's truly life changing. I am very blessed and I want others to realize how much they are blessed as well. I want to live my life more fully and richly. I want others to know how much that I love, admire and grow from their examples. I want to live with no regrets. ***BREATHE*** ***SIGH*** That's all I want.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
"WHAT THE HEZZBOLLAH IS WRONG WITH ME?!?"
Those of you that know me intimately, know that I've felt crappy on and off for the past couple of years. I've dubbed myself a hypochondriac of sorts, but believed the ailments to be true due to the pain and discomfort I have been in. I've frequently made the following statements to family, friends and indifferent aquaintences...
"What is wrong with me?"
"I feel like I'm falling apart!"
"I'm 30 years old and I feel like I'm 90!"
You get the picture. Finally... FINALLY I have been vindicated. I am NOT a hypochondriac! I'm a perfectly abnormal freak of nature who's been dealing with hyperparathyroidism for the last several years or so. I've had so many different things wrong with me that it seemed impossible to find the culprit. It was a rather large parathyroid that was reeking havoc in my body these many years!
**Normally people have 4 parathyroid glands that are the size of a grain of rice... one of mine was the size of a plum!
**My calcium level (the blood test that proved it all) was 19.4... normal is around 8. My surgeon said that was the highest she's ever seen, as well as the endocrine specialist at Covenant Hospital.
**My vitamin D level should have been around 30 and was a 7! She also said that was unheard of for a patient my age! I need vitamin D in order to absorb calcium!
On with the story...
As I'm recovering from Heel Spur Surgery, I'm feeling nauseus, vomiting (wretching) and feeling lightheaded. (Go figure I also got my period at this time as well... I know... you're jealous) I figured the first week it was a side effect of my pain meds as the doctor had warned me of before. Week two... I ended the pain meds... but my pain did not end. Saturday, January 3rd was when it all came to a head. I was home alone (Ed was working and Ed's parent's had the children while I was recovering) and all of the sudden I had a horrible pain in my gut! I thought I had to use the restroom so I went there and sat for a bit (constipation is also a side effect of the pain meds). I was doubled over in pain when a hot flash came over my body and so I took off my shirt and eased myself down to the cool hardwood floor of the hallway. I felt horrible! It was about 6:30 in the evening and I was in such pain that I called my mom to take me to the ER. It was freezing rain so my mom called the ambulance to take me. I hobbled out the door to the stretcher and into my first ambulance ever. One of the guys was a jerk and rolled his eyes when relaying my ailments to the nurse in the ER. Anyways... my mom was there when I was crapping my pants (well on the portable crapper they bring in) and throwing up at the same time... yes... she was gagging and so I told her, in between my wretching fits of a mossy green bile substance, to leave the room... that I was sorry she couldn't handle it in there. Yuck... who could! Soooooo... they poke me and get some blood and discover... that I'm weird. I have an EXTREMELY HIGH CALCIUM LEVEL in my blood. So, they admit me to Covenant where I have an EKG, get poked and proded all night long, have a horrible potassium drip burning through my veins, have high blood pressure, a CT scan, an X-ray of my chest and an ultrasound of my neck. Sound fun yet???
I saw several doctors from the Family Practice Center, none of which was my real and I have to say CRAPPY doctor, that came in and pretty much told me the same thing as the previous one had just told me. Anyways... I really liked Dr. Munns. She was the one that came in on Sunday and said that they found out what was wrong with me. She said that it was my parathyroid whose function it is to regulate the calcium in my body. For some reason my calcium was being leeched from my bones into my blood stream and reeking havoc in all parts of my body. (During these past few weeks my bones have begun to hurt like HELL!)
I had a Fine Needle Aspiration with Ultrasound on my neck to rule out cancer. It looked like there was a large tumor on one of the parathyroids and two nodules on my thyroid. The FNA at Covenant was only done on one of the nodules which was not cancerous. I knew that I had to have a parathyroidectomy and chose to have it done in Iowa City with a doctor who specializes in those kinds of surgeries. Since it's close to many arteries, nerves and my vocal chords, I wanted someone who knew what they were doing! Dr. Lal was going to be my surgeon.
I was at Covenant from Saturday, January 3rd to Thursday, January 8th and on Thursday evening was transferred to Iowa City to the UIHC (University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics) via an ambulance... again. I almost peed myself in the ambulance and was getting ready to go in a bedpan when the driver said we'd be there in 12 miles if I could hold it... I did, but suffered a severely stretched out bladder I must say!! :o) I was admitted here in the epilepsy unit since that was where there was an open bed! The nurses were all fantastic there! I was poked dozens and dozens of times for blood and IV's leaving many bruises and bloody spots behind. NOT HAPPINESS. My calcium was high, so they pushed liquids through me to get it out of my system... my magnesium, phosphorous, potassium was all low. If my levels got too low, I would go into cardiac arrest. My nurse, Perla, said today that she was really worried about me! I had more thyroid scans, x-rays, ultrasounds and lab work done. My kidney function was below normal and I was just a mess! My bones hurt SO BAD that it hurt to walk, just to sit in bed hurt... to exist hurt!!! It's hard to describe bone pain, but WOW... not good and medicine didn't even touch it! My bones in my toes hurt, my wrists, elbows and knees... I could go on and on. Things are starting to get better. My calcium depletion was the reason for it. It was like I was suffering with short term osteoporosis. So... I was having many things go through my IV and taking many different pills as well as getting two heparin shots in my belly everyday to prevent blood clots! It seemed like everyday someone would tell me that I had something else wrong with me! On Monday I had another Biopsy (FNA) with Ultrasound done on my neck. This one was WAY more painful and left me big and bruised! He numbed me up first, which hurt, and then had six 5 - 6 inch needles that he would take individually and poke them into my neck, tap on them til they went down and then would wiggle them around and eventually pull them back out! "NEEDLE IN THE NECKMEAT!!!" WOW... the third one really hurt so he numbed me up again for three more. I was in pain for a whole week after that! Nothing was cancerous, but they did say that I probably did have Hashimoto's Disease as the biopsy showed at Covenant. Even though I have it, my thyroid function is fine for now, but I may have to be on medicines in the future for it for the rest of my life. Then... my potassium level was low AGAIN and they put the IV in me and I cryed for an hour and a half. For some reason my veins couldn't take it anymore! I broke down and called my friend to ask her for someone to come and give me a blessing. About a half hour later, two priesthood holders who work here at the hospital came and gave me a blessing (a special prayer). When they left, the nurses came in and turned it off. Such relief! It turns out that I can take it orally instead. It tasted like really salty homemade playdough! Much better than being in horrific pain for long periods of time, I must say!
Soooooooo... my levels were fine and I was prescribed several medicines to keep my levels stable between now and my scheduled surgery on January 22, 2009. I was released from UIHC on Wednesday, January 14th, stayed in a hotel with my mom and traveled home to Waterloo in the morning. We counted over 20 cars in the ditches due to ice storms and blizzard conditions that have been happening in our area these past few weeks. On our way home, I stopped by my doctors office (lab) to get poked even more times... I'm a glutton for punishment! I needed to stop there to have my levels checked every few days to make sure that I was good to go for surgery the following week.
NOT SO FAST...
Deja vu people... what do you suppose happened that following Saturday evening when I was home alone again. You guessed it... the same symptoms only THIS time I was tingling all over my face, lips, hands, arms, feet and up my legs. My hands started to cramp as well as my mouth. My lips were pursed and I was having trouble speaking properly. I knew that the tingling was from LOW CALCIUM from before. I felt this way after they pumped the calcium out of me. Now I was experiencing hypocalcemia. So... I called my brother Chad to take me to the ER. I called the number I had for Iowa City first and she said to call the ambulance and go to my local ER. Back to Covenant again. Good Night... I hadn't even unpacked my suitcase yet, so Chad drove behind the ambulance to the ER and met me there. Ed showed up a little while later. (Thanks Dan...) Anyways... I was nervous because I felt that if my calcium level is THIS LOW... are my other levels low... could I have a heart attack?!? I was pretty scared at this point. I knew that my calcium level may come back "normal", but for me... "normal" is low since I've been used to the high levels for so long. Anyways... after several hours... from 10 pm Saturday night to 5 am Sunday morning I laid in the ER until the doctor had a "pow wow" with the doctors in Iowa City. He came in and said that all of my levels were low and that I was going by ambulance to Iowa City. So... here I go again in the ambulance down to IC. This time my blood pressure was REALLY low and so I had to have another IV shoved into me during the very bumpy ambulance ride. I was pretty scared this time. I went straight to the ER there and they said that my levels were looking good again. So... they asked if I had a ride home and I was like... "WHAT?" So I called mom at 8 am and her and Chad came and picked me up. I stayed at her house since she didn't want me to be alone again. She was pretty ticked that I wasn't admitted and so was I. So... Ed got the kids and brought them to mom's in the afternoon. It was the first time I saw all of them in such a long time. I really missed seeing them! Jaren seemed to have grown so much! He even had more teeth coming in this time! Such sweet kids... I hope they don't forget me! So... Ollie and Eden spent the night with my mom and Chad and Jaren came home with us at about 8 pm. I hopped into the tub to soak my painful bones in hot water only to have Ed bring me the phone... it was my surgeon! She was pretty miffed that no one had called her to say that I had been in Iowa City in the ER. She said that she would have admitted me! She also said that there was a new doctor that didn't know about my history and that is why they let me go. Sooooo... she and Dr. Wilson were trying to call me all day long. She told me to go ahead and come back down tomorrow (MLK Jr. Day).
BACK IN IOWA CITY...
So... Ed let me sleep until 10 am and then off we went to UIHC AGAIN. Now I was in the surgical unit and being prepped for surgery. Usually the calcuim level drops AFTER the surgery. In my case it dropped BEFORE surgery. We needed to get it back up to a "normal" level for me so I was choking down antacids like they were going out of style! BUT... Dr. Lal told me on Sunday... my Vitamin D level was extremely low... therefore I wasn't absorbing any of the calcium I was putting into my body... triggering my tingling feeling and cramping muscles that drove me to the ER and landing me in the I.C. ER!!! CRAZINESS!!! SO... she told me to come down as a precautionary measure to pump me up with a calcium drip and move my surgery to Tuesday instead of Thursday, just to get the blasted thing out of me! So... Mom was here, Ed, my wonderful husband was here and my grandparents came up as well. Surgery was at around 2:30 pm on Tuesday, January 20th. I went in with 4 parathyroid glands and came out with 2 and a large exit wound to my neck... which really hurts. It's about 2 inches long and in the middle of my neck. I've been on pain meds, which really don't help a whole lot, but oh well... what can I do about it! This morning Dr. French came in during rounds and told me about the size of the ginormous parathyroid that was removed. I couldn't believe that something that large was in my neck and I didn't know it! Evidentally it was fairly mushy so it was easily hidden. Now... I'm sitting here in bed... at 11:30 pm... typing for all of you fine folks who have taken the time to read about my crazy month of pain and frustration... At least I'm on the healing side now! In about a month I'll feel like a brand new person... or so they say!
Thank you so much for all of the prayers and well wishes that you've all said on my behalf! I could still use them on this crazy road to recovery... who knows how long that will end up being. Hopefully soon!!! Thanks to ALL of my doctors and nurses, friends, family and acquaintances during this time! I also recieved some beautiful bouquets that brightened up my otherwise dreary days! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I love you all!!!! ***"Where's my award... it's like a thank you speech at an award's show... wait... don't take the microphone down into the floor and turn on the music... I'm not done yet..."***
"What is wrong with me?"
"I feel like I'm falling apart!"
"I'm 30 years old and I feel like I'm 90!"
You get the picture. Finally... FINALLY I have been vindicated. I am NOT a hypochondriac! I'm a perfectly abnormal freak of nature who's been dealing with hyperparathyroidism for the last several years or so. I've had so many different things wrong with me that it seemed impossible to find the culprit. It was a rather large parathyroid that was reeking havoc in my body these many years!
**Normally people have 4 parathyroid glands that are the size of a grain of rice... one of mine was the size of a plum!
**My calcium level (the blood test that proved it all) was 19.4... normal is around 8. My surgeon said that was the highest she's ever seen, as well as the endocrine specialist at Covenant Hospital.
**My vitamin D level should have been around 30 and was a 7! She also said that was unheard of for a patient my age! I need vitamin D in order to absorb calcium!
On with the story...
As I'm recovering from Heel Spur Surgery, I'm feeling nauseus, vomiting (wretching) and feeling lightheaded. (Go figure I also got my period at this time as well... I know... you're jealous) I figured the first week it was a side effect of my pain meds as the doctor had warned me of before. Week two... I ended the pain meds... but my pain did not end. Saturday, January 3rd was when it all came to a head. I was home alone (Ed was working and Ed's parent's had the children while I was recovering) and all of the sudden I had a horrible pain in my gut! I thought I had to use the restroom so I went there and sat for a bit (constipation is also a side effect of the pain meds). I was doubled over in pain when a hot flash came over my body and so I took off my shirt and eased myself down to the cool hardwood floor of the hallway. I felt horrible! It was about 6:30 in the evening and I was in such pain that I called my mom to take me to the ER. It was freezing rain so my mom called the ambulance to take me. I hobbled out the door to the stretcher and into my first ambulance ever. One of the guys was a jerk and rolled his eyes when relaying my ailments to the nurse in the ER. Anyways... my mom was there when I was crapping my pants (well on the portable crapper they bring in) and throwing up at the same time... yes... she was gagging and so I told her, in between my wretching fits of a mossy green bile substance, to leave the room... that I was sorry she couldn't handle it in there. Yuck... who could! Soooooo... they poke me and get some blood and discover... that I'm weird. I have an EXTREMELY HIGH CALCIUM LEVEL in my blood. So, they admit me to Covenant where I have an EKG, get poked and proded all night long, have a horrible potassium drip burning through my veins, have high blood pressure, a CT scan, an X-ray of my chest and an ultrasound of my neck. Sound fun yet???
I saw several doctors from the Family Practice Center, none of which was my real and I have to say CRAPPY doctor, that came in and pretty much told me the same thing as the previous one had just told me. Anyways... I really liked Dr. Munns. She was the one that came in on Sunday and said that they found out what was wrong with me. She said that it was my parathyroid whose function it is to regulate the calcium in my body. For some reason my calcium was being leeched from my bones into my blood stream and reeking havoc in all parts of my body. (During these past few weeks my bones have begun to hurt like HELL!)
I had a Fine Needle Aspiration with Ultrasound on my neck to rule out cancer. It looked like there was a large tumor on one of the parathyroids and two nodules on my thyroid. The FNA at Covenant was only done on one of the nodules which was not cancerous. I knew that I had to have a parathyroidectomy and chose to have it done in Iowa City with a doctor who specializes in those kinds of surgeries. Since it's close to many arteries, nerves and my vocal chords, I wanted someone who knew what they were doing! Dr. Lal was going to be my surgeon.
I was at Covenant from Saturday, January 3rd to Thursday, January 8th and on Thursday evening was transferred to Iowa City to the UIHC (University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics) via an ambulance... again. I almost peed myself in the ambulance and was getting ready to go in a bedpan when the driver said we'd be there in 12 miles if I could hold it... I did, but suffered a severely stretched out bladder I must say!! :o) I was admitted here in the epilepsy unit since that was where there was an open bed! The nurses were all fantastic there! I was poked dozens and dozens of times for blood and IV's leaving many bruises and bloody spots behind. NOT HAPPINESS. My calcium was high, so they pushed liquids through me to get it out of my system... my magnesium, phosphorous, potassium was all low. If my levels got too low, I would go into cardiac arrest. My nurse, Perla, said today that she was really worried about me! I had more thyroid scans, x-rays, ultrasounds and lab work done. My kidney function was below normal and I was just a mess! My bones hurt SO BAD that it hurt to walk, just to sit in bed hurt... to exist hurt!!! It's hard to describe bone pain, but WOW... not good and medicine didn't even touch it! My bones in my toes hurt, my wrists, elbows and knees... I could go on and on. Things are starting to get better. My calcium depletion was the reason for it. It was like I was suffering with short term osteoporosis. So... I was having many things go through my IV and taking many different pills as well as getting two heparin shots in my belly everyday to prevent blood clots! It seemed like everyday someone would tell me that I had something else wrong with me! On Monday I had another Biopsy (FNA) with Ultrasound done on my neck. This one was WAY more painful and left me big and bruised! He numbed me up first, which hurt, and then had six 5 - 6 inch needles that he would take individually and poke them into my neck, tap on them til they went down and then would wiggle them around and eventually pull them back out! "NEEDLE IN THE NECKMEAT!!!" WOW... the third one really hurt so he numbed me up again for three more. I was in pain for a whole week after that! Nothing was cancerous, but they did say that I probably did have Hashimoto's Disease as the biopsy showed at Covenant. Even though I have it, my thyroid function is fine for now, but I may have to be on medicines in the future for it for the rest of my life. Then... my potassium level was low AGAIN and they put the IV in me and I cryed for an hour and a half. For some reason my veins couldn't take it anymore! I broke down and called my friend to ask her for someone to come and give me a blessing. About a half hour later, two priesthood holders who work here at the hospital came and gave me a blessing (a special prayer). When they left, the nurses came in and turned it off. Such relief! It turns out that I can take it orally instead. It tasted like really salty homemade playdough! Much better than being in horrific pain for long periods of time, I must say!
Soooooooo... my levels were fine and I was prescribed several medicines to keep my levels stable between now and my scheduled surgery on January 22, 2009. I was released from UIHC on Wednesday, January 14th, stayed in a hotel with my mom and traveled home to Waterloo in the morning. We counted over 20 cars in the ditches due to ice storms and blizzard conditions that have been happening in our area these past few weeks. On our way home, I stopped by my doctors office (lab) to get poked even more times... I'm a glutton for punishment! I needed to stop there to have my levels checked every few days to make sure that I was good to go for surgery the following week.
NOT SO FAST...
Deja vu people... what do you suppose happened that following Saturday evening when I was home alone again. You guessed it... the same symptoms only THIS time I was tingling all over my face, lips, hands, arms, feet and up my legs. My hands started to cramp as well as my mouth. My lips were pursed and I was having trouble speaking properly. I knew that the tingling was from LOW CALCIUM from before. I felt this way after they pumped the calcium out of me. Now I was experiencing hypocalcemia. So... I called my brother Chad to take me to the ER. I called the number I had for Iowa City first and she said to call the ambulance and go to my local ER. Back to Covenant again. Good Night... I hadn't even unpacked my suitcase yet, so Chad drove behind the ambulance to the ER and met me there. Ed showed up a little while later. (Thanks Dan...) Anyways... I was nervous because I felt that if my calcium level is THIS LOW... are my other levels low... could I have a heart attack?!? I was pretty scared at this point. I knew that my calcium level may come back "normal", but for me... "normal" is low since I've been used to the high levels for so long. Anyways... after several hours... from 10 pm Saturday night to 5 am Sunday morning I laid in the ER until the doctor had a "pow wow" with the doctors in Iowa City. He came in and said that all of my levels were low and that I was going by ambulance to Iowa City. So... here I go again in the ambulance down to IC. This time my blood pressure was REALLY low and so I had to have another IV shoved into me during the very bumpy ambulance ride. I was pretty scared this time. I went straight to the ER there and they said that my levels were looking good again. So... they asked if I had a ride home and I was like... "WHAT?" So I called mom at 8 am and her and Chad came and picked me up. I stayed at her house since she didn't want me to be alone again. She was pretty ticked that I wasn't admitted and so was I. So... Ed got the kids and brought them to mom's in the afternoon. It was the first time I saw all of them in such a long time. I really missed seeing them! Jaren seemed to have grown so much! He even had more teeth coming in this time! Such sweet kids... I hope they don't forget me! So... Ollie and Eden spent the night with my mom and Chad and Jaren came home with us at about 8 pm. I hopped into the tub to soak my painful bones in hot water only to have Ed bring me the phone... it was my surgeon! She was pretty miffed that no one had called her to say that I had been in Iowa City in the ER. She said that she would have admitted me! She also said that there was a new doctor that didn't know about my history and that is why they let me go. Sooooo... she and Dr. Wilson were trying to call me all day long. She told me to go ahead and come back down tomorrow (MLK Jr. Day).
BACK IN IOWA CITY...
So... Ed let me sleep until 10 am and then off we went to UIHC AGAIN. Now I was in the surgical unit and being prepped for surgery. Usually the calcuim level drops AFTER the surgery. In my case it dropped BEFORE surgery. We needed to get it back up to a "normal" level for me so I was choking down antacids like they were going out of style! BUT... Dr. Lal told me on Sunday... my Vitamin D level was extremely low... therefore I wasn't absorbing any of the calcium I was putting into my body... triggering my tingling feeling and cramping muscles that drove me to the ER and landing me in the I.C. ER!!! CRAZINESS!!! SO... she told me to come down as a precautionary measure to pump me up with a calcium drip and move my surgery to Tuesday instead of Thursday, just to get the blasted thing out of me! So... Mom was here, Ed, my wonderful husband was here and my grandparents came up as well. Surgery was at around 2:30 pm on Tuesday, January 20th. I went in with 4 parathyroid glands and came out with 2 and a large exit wound to my neck... which really hurts. It's about 2 inches long and in the middle of my neck. I've been on pain meds, which really don't help a whole lot, but oh well... what can I do about it! This morning Dr. French came in during rounds and told me about the size of the ginormous parathyroid that was removed. I couldn't believe that something that large was in my neck and I didn't know it! Evidentally it was fairly mushy so it was easily hidden. Now... I'm sitting here in bed... at 11:30 pm... typing for all of you fine folks who have taken the time to read about my crazy month of pain and frustration... At least I'm on the healing side now! In about a month I'll feel like a brand new person... or so they say!
Thank you so much for all of the prayers and well wishes that you've all said on my behalf! I could still use them on this crazy road to recovery... who knows how long that will end up being. Hopefully soon!!! Thanks to ALL of my doctors and nurses, friends, family and acquaintances during this time! I also recieved some beautiful bouquets that brightened up my otherwise dreary days! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I love you all!!!! ***"Where's my award... it's like a thank you speech at an award's show... wait... don't take the microphone down into the floor and turn on the music... I'm not done yet..."***
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
T'was the Morn of My Surgery...
Monday, December 22nd, 2008 - HEEL SPUR SURGERY
This morning I was to be at United Medical Park at 6 am for my heel spur surgery scheduled for 7 am... I am NOT a morning person! I was really starting to get nervous as 7 am got closer and closer. I had a cold for about 2 weeks before today and still had a stuffy nose so I wasn't sure if they were going to postpone my surgery for a second time. The nurse talked with the anesthesiologist and he agreed that I would NOT continue with the general anesthesia, but I would have a local and something else to make me sleepy. I was so scared that I would be awake for it... knowing that they were cutting into my foot at the end of the table!!! Luckily I fell asleep and don't remember a thing!!! THANK GOODNESS!
I was out of it for a while and I remember Ed reading a bit of "Pride and Prejudice" aloud by Jane Austen, one of my favorite authors. Soon I felt good enough to leave. I had my boot on and left the building with my crutches as well as support from Ed. We stopped by the video place and rented tons of DVD's since I'd be restricted to the couch and recliner. We also got something to eat on our way home as well.
Ed was wonderful, as always, getting things for me non-stop. The kids were very helpful as well. One day I woke up and Eden actually got a bowl and made me some cereal! I was pleasantly surprised! Then, Oliver chimed in, "I GOT YOU THE SPOON!!!" I said thank you to him as well, of course!
We've been watching lots of movies and I have been slowing healing since. It's amazing how we take so many things for granted when we can't do what we normally do! So many times I've wanted to get up and vacuum and help out around the house! It turned out to be a success.
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