Oh, the Joys of Pregnancy

WARNING: Massive amounts of ranting and raving are about to take place. Read at your own risk.

I went to my regular OB visit to test for gestational diabetes and failed so off to my 4 hour test at the hospital. I downed the nasty orange drink that they give you in record time, only to feel sick about 1/2 hour later. I felt nauseus, lightheaded and had a horrible headache. I also had to visit the toilet... quickly a few times. I was fanning myself with a copy of the Ensign that I brought with me to read for the first hour. They called me back to get poked for the second time and I told them what was happening and that I felt as if I were going to pass out! They said that sometimes people feel sick during this test... YAY, ME! So, they led me down a little hallway to a small room and said that I could lie down on the examination table. YEAH... not the most comfortable thing invented. I would have much rather stretched out on the blue couch in the lobby, but I'm sure I would have gotten some dirty looks out there! So, after the second hour, I'm poked and the third hour, I'm poked again. Afterwards, they sent me home and told me that I would hear from my doctor.

I came home thankful that I could crash since I wasn't feeling well, as my in-laws were watching Jaren for me, but that didn't last too long since he was sick as well and had been crying all morning long. He had been on antibiotics for strep throat, as well as Eden, but he wasn't eating or drinking even. We took him to the doctor and found out that he had several sores in his mouth including a HUGE one on the side of his tongue! Poor little guy! The doctor said that it was a virus and that it just had to run its course. We got some stuff to numb it with the hopes of him at least drinking his milk, but he did NOT want to have anything to do with it! It sucks trying to take care of two sick kid, one of which just screams all day long, when I'm pregnant (anemic, horrible back pain, ligament pain) and sick as well. UGH! SERENITY NOW!!!!!! Some days I don't feel like I can handle it! I've been EXTREMELY tired and have been nodding off while laying on the couch or sitting in the recliner which is soooooooo not like me!

Soooo... a few days later, my OB calls and says that I passed the test. So... I guess I don't have gestational diabetes. Which is a good sign! But... my bad headaches, fatigue, nausea, back pain, etc. are still plagueing me. So... why is that I wonder. Many friends say... preeclampsia??? So... I look up preeclampsia and now I'm really worried because it sounds just like me. Plus the fact that they didn't test my urine for protein the last time that I was in there because I couldn't pee... yeah... that's really odd for me right about now... not being able to pee! So... I call my doctor, see a different woman since my doc is on vacation and find out that everything is okay. She says I probably just have a touch of the flu or something that the kids had. At least I know it's not serious.

To put it plainly... I feel like crap... all day... every day. I know that I should be grateful to be able to get pregnant and carry my babies... but I hate it. I hate the way it makes me feel. I seriously feel like I have the flu for 9 months, but worse. I have had chronic lower back pain for the last 10 years so I know what it's like to be uncomfortable every day, but this pain that I've been in for the last several months is almost unbearable. There are days that I can barely get myself to the restroom let alone care for my 2-year-old!!! I'm in CONSTANT pain. PAIN. I know that ladies suffer from backaches in pregnancy, but this is just ridiculous! I've seen my doctor, my OB, my chiropractor and a physical therapist for it, but it just does not go away and it's only getting worse the bigger this kid gets! I just want to scream some days. And I'm soooooooo freakin' tired... it's not even funny! I know that since I'm anemic that really doesn't help the situation and having two surgeries and recovering from those doesn't help. I take gobs and gobs of medicine on a daily basis that I usually gag on and throw back up... AWESOME. Plus, I can't sleep at night because of pregnancy insomnia and back pain! I can't wait for the next few weeks to pass. I pray that I can get better soon after I have this kid. Don't even get me started on my mental state... or my spiritual state... I feel like I've been to hell and back. I feel like my prayers aren't being heard. It just feels like everything is piling up on top of me and I honestly don't know how much more I can take. I can understand why people want to hurt themselves. Seriously. Most days I just feel like a zombie and I just want to stay in bed ALL DAY LONG. I really signed up for this?! Really? Reeaaalllly?!? I know there is a reason for my going through all of this... just don't ask me what the crap that reason is... because I haven't the slightest idea. This baby had better be healthy... that's all I have to say about that! (But... since it's a boy... I'm sure he'll be as sickly as my other two... woo-hoo!)